Dream to Reality

Wow! It has been along time since I have had the opportunity to write on this blog. A lot has happened since the last post.
Since that post I have gone through a major depression and numb phase of my life where I didn't want to do anything except for stay alive. This was a very weird phase because I didn't even realize I was there. It was like I was stuck inside my body and I couldn't control it. I wanted so bad to be able to change my life and I didn't see how I could. My salvation in this numb state came from my dear wife who still wanted to be with me despite my state of mind. She had the gumption to make a choice and put me into a place where I had to come out of myself and take control. (Though I did need other help from some medication to bring me out of this state.)
During the numb phase we were very low on income so we moved out to Vernal, UT with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. We stayed there for a few months and during that time I fell into a deeper depression and the medication I had started taking was making me feel numb and I wasn't sad but at the same time I wasn't happy either. After a couple months Emily finally called my parents and talked to them and they offered to have us stay in their basement which was a lot more than the one room we had at Emily's sister's house. It also gave me the opportunity to change my medication to something else that would work better. So we moved, again. Also while we were in Vernal we had decided to rent our Townhome because we could rent it for more money than all of the bills.

At my parents house it was a lot better because I was able to have some support from my family. I was still doing the same job I had out in vernal. (I had been working the graveyard shift at the smith's and I was able to get a transfer to one of the stores in the salt lake valley.) I hated the hours but I knew that I needed to support my family. Another month or two went by and I couldn't take it anymore so I quit. That was probably the best decision, because it opened my mind up to the possibility of doing anything else. That is when I got an email from my favorite company, 3 Key Elements.
I am a designer and wanted to do that for a living but I thought "If I can get my foot in the door and just work hard I can move into the position I want." So I applied for a job opening that they had in their client services department. I GOT IT! (Happy dance!) So on April 18, 2014 I started my job at 3 Key Elements. I worked hard and learned quickly that this company is more amazing than I even thought. I could do another post just on all the things that make this company great. This shift in jobs is what brought me out of my funk that I had been in for almost a year.
After about 6 months the person who they had doing their Social media/design work moved on to another opportunity and there was an opening. I jumped on it. I discussed with them what I could do for them and what my limitations were on social media. I even talked with the Vice-President of the company and she wanted to see what I could do. That day they asked me to spend one hour after work and come up with a graphic for a concept that they teach in their classes. Rather than waiting until the end of the day I went home during lunch and created the graphic on my computer (in less than 45 Mins) I returned to the office and handed a printed version of my graphic to the VP and said "Something like this?".... Her jaw dropped.... "When did you do this?" .... me, "During lunch", "want to see more of my work now?"..
The next day they offered me a position I was not expecting, a place on the A/V team and when I wasn't helping with events then I would be doing "some but not all" design work. I accepted and made step two toward my goal that I had in the back of my mind. Step three came about 4-5 Months later after a few changes were made in personnel. "We want you to be on our newly formed creative team as our full time designer." YES, YES, YES!!! This is what I had always wanted. To work for a  company that I loved and that I enjoyed going to everyday. (Literally, I looked forward everyday to going in and creating new amazing designs that would help the company change poeple's lives.) My style and skills were exactly what they needed for the company. I have never been more proud of my work and how it made me feel. (Oh, I still had lots of stress meeting deadlines and making last minute changes, but I always took it as a challenge and made it happen.) The best part of it all was when the Pres. and VP would see my work and them make a point of telling me how awesome it was and how impressed they were with my work.

More updates in the next posts...

My Name Sake

I was born July 18, 1983 and my parents decided to name me after my grandmothers. Dorothy Jordan Jones and Marian Newkirk Love. So I then was named Jordan Newkirk Jones. I love my grandparents so much and on July 16, 2013 my Grandma Jones who's name I bear passed away from a fall in front of her home. It is extremely hard for me because first off I love her very much and she was the epitome of what a lady could/should be. She was always classy and dressed up even if she was just going to the doctor.

The other reason that it is so hard to see her go was because on that Sunday prior to her death Emily and I were getting ready to go to Bear Lake for our vacation with my family; and we had recently returned from Oregon and had made some homemade blackberry freezer jam. We decided that we should take a container to her (she loved blackberries) and visit for a few minutes before we left town. After calling her on the phone the night before to set a time when she would be home, we went over there and she was at church. (I had miscalculated the time that she would return home). She wouldn't return home for another 30 to 45 mins so we decided to leave the Jam and a note and try to return later to visit before we left.

Well as life is, we got busy and I was in too much of a rush to go and stop by and we never got to go and say anything to her.  I kick myself now for not going back and taking the time to sit and visit with her. How my heart sank when I heard that she had fallen and hit her head. The tears and the emotions I felt were too much. I wanted so much to see her face once more smile at me and say how good I looked and how proud of me she was. I wanted to let her she her granddaughter one more time. At the same time I wanted to crawl into a hole because of the guilt I felt for not staying that extra few minutes when I could have.

I am glad now that she is back with her dear husband and that they can once again embrace and be at each other's side. I have a lot of life left to live but I will cherish the day when I can see her again and tell her how sorry I am for not keeping my word and how glad I am that she got to at least hear my voice once more over the phone before she departed.

Pulling Out Wedgies (R & R: Part IV)

So if you have been following my blog you know that I have been talking about wedgies and that everything comes back to wedgies.

Now you've identified them... sooo....how do you pull out your wedgies? First we need to get rid of the source of the wedgies which is Sarcasm which then allows negative thoughts and negative emotions into our mind.

Emily and I have decided that the easiest way to stop the wedges is to make the tip of the wedge blunt, meaning that it can't be push into our mind to begin with. This means that we had to get rid of sarcasm. NOT SO EASY... It's amazing how many times we used sarcasm in our home. Probably 10 to 20 times PER DAY! That's a lot and that was for each of us. They weren't always sarcasm toward each other but most of them were toward someone we knew. So we had to really focus and make it rule #1 in our home. And it still is. Once we started getting rid of the sarcasm, joking, eye-rolling, etc it was so much easier to identify and kill the negative thoughts and emotions.

To get rid of negative thoughts and emotions we needed to get them out of our head. I'll say it again... OUT OF OUR HEAD. Not just push it to some recess of our mind but just plain "take out the trash". The way that we do that is by putting it down on paper. You have to sit down with pen and paper or type it on your computer or whatever and just get it down. The thoughts that pester and bug you the most are the ones you are going to go after first. Here is your first tool for getting these thoughts out.

1. Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle 
2. On the left side at the top write the word "Negative" 
3. On the right side at the top write the word "Positive"
4. Then off to the far left write #1 and the number one negative thought that gets your attention in your mind.
5. Across from that write the exact opposite plus something good about yourself.
   (i.e. Negative: You're not good enough. - Positive: I am good enough and I am confident.)
6. Repeat step 5 until you get to #10 
7. After you have all 10 then tear the page out or print it off and crumple it up.
8. Finally take it out to your BBQ and set it on fire and WATCH IT BURN!

If you take the time and do each one of the steps EVERY DAY then your negative thoughts will begin to disappear. There is something psychological in your brain that happens when you take on the negative thoughts directly out and combat them with positive thoughts. Plus you wrote down twice as many good things for your brain to pick up and put into the space that was there. Then when you go burn it you can literally see the negative thought being consumed by fire. 

Eventually the thoughts on your top ten list will disappear and you can replace them on your list with the next thing that bugs you the most. But now your saying to your self ... "But I have more than ten things that really bug me at any one time. Is there something else I can do? YES there is. Tune in again soon to find out what the next tool is to get rid of these negative thoughts

Wedges and Wedgies ... (Royalty & Romance, part III)

So you came back.  Curious about wedges?  Well I actually refer to them as wedgies. That's  right I said wedgies... Those uncomfortable and often annoying  pieces of clothing that wedge themselves into our bottoms. So now that we have figured out what is blocking our brain lets talk about what they are, where they come from, and how they got there.

These wedges are negative thoughts and emotions. More specifically they are the negative thoughts and emotions that we say or think about ourselves or others that then we believe and then let stick in our mind. I have found that there is one specific thing that allows those thoughts to start pushing into our mind. It is sarcasm, joking, eye rolling, and mocking. These seem innocent enough but when we really think about it they are just the tip or the start of insecurity, fear, and anger.

Whenever I see/hear someone using sarcasm I can immediately tell that somewhere inside of them they are fighting some fear or anger about themself. If you think about a good example, lets say Jesus Christ (my perfect example) he NEVER used sarcasm or joking or mocking.  These jokes though they may be funny never are funny for the person that they are about. Even if they laugh they are hurting somewhere deep down inside and that hurt is what drives those wedges into our brain that cause the interrupt in our brain between our body and soul. And just because that person isn't there doesn't mean that they won't feel it.

Now you know how to identify if you have wedgies. Negative thoughts, negative emotions, and the biggest one is using sarcasm, joking, mocking, and eye rolling. Once we have identified them we can now get rid of them. Will talk in detail on the next post about how to combat and pull out your wedgies.

It's all comes back to the wedgies from here on out.

BODY, BRAIN, & SOUL :: (Royalty and Romance Part II)

So did you find all 6 "F's" in my last post? Yes or No?  Anyway, after they did this exercise we sat back down and talked about what happens in our brain when we see it. Some of us just see the obvious ones in the big words and then there are some who can read it through and still not see the other 3 and then there are those who can't see it until it is pointed out to them. Each person is at a different level and we all can read the message but how we SEE the message and interpret it is totally different.

I can't really remember exactly what was next but I know that they talked about the body, brain, and soul, and how they are connected. The body is a physical thing that we can see and touch and the brain is too though we can't touch it. The soul is the intangible part of us that is just way to complex for anyone to truly understand. But what we do know about it is that it has a mission or a purpose. What that purpose is is totally different for each person but everyone including you has a purpose. Some people see it as their personal goals, or their future goals. Others may have something more spiritual but what ever it is it is complex.

So the mission of the body is to be comfortable. Just plain comfortable even to the point of not wanting to feel something too rough or too hot or too cold. It is a creature of habit. It just wants to be left alone and be comfortable.

The soul wants to complete its mission by whatever means necessary. Your soul is a positive force in the world and it can only speak to you through your brain. So again that means that you have to listen to your soul through your brain.

Now your brain is an interesting organ in the fact that it controls so many things at once, like: your breathing your heart beat your liver functions your stomach and digestive tract.All of these things it does automatically but on the manual side your brain can only think about one thing at a time and your body and your brain are constantly trying to get control. Your body has an advantage in the fact that it is directly connected to your brain and it is constantly getting updates on what is going on through your senses. So it has been trained from an early age to trust your bodies senses. but as we demonstrated in the previous post sometimes your mind doesn't see things and you can's always see the whole picture (or all the F's).

So where does the input from your soul go into your brain? The same place that all the other senses are inputting their information. It is a struggle to get those thoughts from your soul to your brain sometimes. And sometimes we even block it off. THAT'S RIGHT! We sometimes even block off your own soul from communicating with us. I like to call these your wedges. (a triangular object that can push two object apart)
So the key is to find these wedges and pull them out of our mind.

But what are the wedges?
Find out in the next post (part 3)