My Name Sake

I was born July 18, 1983 and my parents decided to name me after my grandmothers. Dorothy Jordan Jones and Marian Newkirk Love. So I then was named Jordan Newkirk Jones. I love my grandparents so much and on July 16, 2013 my Grandma Jones who's name I bear passed away from a fall in front of her home. It is extremely hard for me because first off I love her very much and she was the epitome of what a lady could/should be. She was always classy and dressed up even if she was just going to the doctor.

The other reason that it is so hard to see her go was because on that Sunday prior to her death Emily and I were getting ready to go to Bear Lake for our vacation with my family; and we had recently returned from Oregon and had made some homemade blackberry freezer jam. We decided that we should take a container to her (she loved blackberries) and visit for a few minutes before we left town. After calling her on the phone the night before to set a time when she would be home, we went over there and she was at church. (I had miscalculated the time that she would return home). She wouldn't return home for another 30 to 45 mins so we decided to leave the Jam and a note and try to return later to visit before we left.

Well as life is, we got busy and I was in too much of a rush to go and stop by and we never got to go and say anything to her.  I kick myself now for not going back and taking the time to sit and visit with her. How my heart sank when I heard that she had fallen and hit her head. The tears and the emotions I felt were too much. I wanted so much to see her face once more smile at me and say how good I looked and how proud of me she was. I wanted to let her she her granddaughter one more time. At the same time I wanted to crawl into a hole because of the guilt I felt for not staying that extra few minutes when I could have.

I am glad now that she is back with her dear husband and that they can once again embrace and be at each other's side. I have a lot of life left to live but I will cherish the day when I can see her again and tell her how sorry I am for not keeping my word and how glad I am that she got to at least hear my voice once more over the phone before she departed.

BODY, BRAIN, & SOUL :: (Royalty and Romance Part II)

So did you find all 6 "F's" in my last post? Yes or No?  Anyway, after they did this exercise we sat back down and talked about what happens in our brain when we see it. Some of us just see the obvious ones in the big words and then there are some who can read it through and still not see the other 3 and then there are those who can't see it until it is pointed out to them. Each person is at a different level and we all can read the message but how we SEE the message and interpret it is totally different.

I can't really remember exactly what was next but I know that they talked about the body, brain, and soul, and how they are connected. The body is a physical thing that we can see and touch and the brain is too though we can't touch it. The soul is the intangible part of us that is just way to complex for anyone to truly understand. But what we do know about it is that it has a mission or a purpose. What that purpose is is totally different for each person but everyone including you has a purpose. Some people see it as their personal goals, or their future goals. Others may have something more spiritual but what ever it is it is complex.

So the mission of the body is to be comfortable. Just plain comfortable even to the point of not wanting to feel something too rough or too hot or too cold. It is a creature of habit. It just wants to be left alone and be comfortable.

The soul wants to complete its mission by whatever means necessary. Your soul is a positive force in the world and it can only speak to you through your brain. So again that means that you have to listen to your soul through your brain.

Now your brain is an interesting organ in the fact that it controls so many things at once, like: your breathing your heart beat your liver functions your stomach and digestive tract.All of these things it does automatically but on the manual side your brain can only think about one thing at a time and your body and your brain are constantly trying to get control. Your body has an advantage in the fact that it is directly connected to your brain and it is constantly getting updates on what is going on through your senses. So it has been trained from an early age to trust your bodies senses. but as we demonstrated in the previous post sometimes your mind doesn't see things and you can's always see the whole picture (or all the F's).

So where does the input from your soul go into your brain? The same place that all the other senses are inputting their information. It is a struggle to get those thoughts from your soul to your brain sometimes. And sometimes we even block it off. THAT'S RIGHT! We sometimes even block off your own soul from communicating with us. I like to call these your wedges. (a triangular object that can push two object apart)
So the key is to find these wedges and pull them out of our mind.

But what are the wedges?
Find out in the next post (part 3)

Ready, Set, Nest!

I never understood until recently what "nesting" really meant or why people did it but now I think that I finally understand. For the last week or so I have had this unreal feeling like I need to have every little thing in my home clean and in place for no apparent reason. After getting the main part of the house clean I thought that the feeling might go away but then it got even worse when I realized that it probably wouldn't stop. I have been cleaning and organizing like a mad man for the last week, and now since it is getting warm outside it has shifted to getting the yard looking good and having things ready for the baby.

Whenever I think about being a dad or having a baby of my own I start to have this overwhelming feeling of excitement and nervousness at the same time. On one hand I want the baby to be here and to see her face but on the other I am so nervous because I have no idea of how to take care of a baby. I have so many things that I want to make sure I do as a father and so many things that I don't want to mess up. I just hope that she loves me as much as I already love her.

Emily has been a real trooper with all of her emotions going completely haywire. We have a few arguments over stupid things but all in all things are going well. I love her so much and I am so glad that she is as excited as I am to have her in our lives. She is already such a blessing and we know that she is our little miracle in our lives. We know things might get hard but we will do whatever we have to do to provide for her. (even get up at 3:15 AM to go to work)

Early to Bed and Early to Rise Makes ....

... A Good Boy Healthy, Wealthy and Wise. Or at least that's how I think it goes. I'm learning that as my body adjusts to this new schedule of getting up at 4:30 in the morning to get ready for work that I now seem to have more energy and I feel like I accomplish more even though I have the same amount of time each day.

This job is very exciting to learn all of the new things that Verizon Wireless does and how they really treat their customers. I have never seen a company with so much focus on the customer care and the importance of the customers feelings as much as I have with this job. Everything is centered around the customers experience and helping the customer get the exact service they need even if that means reducing their plan to a cheaper one. They also have great express service options that allow customers to do almost everything one their own without the help of a customer care representative. I am glad that as a customer care representative I can be honest and open with customers and tell them that we are here to help them get the best service that Verizon Wireless can provide. From the exceptional coverage to the great plans and phones, they have truly cornered the market on helping customers and making sure that each one of them is taken care of. I just hope that I can learn everything well enough so that I can help a lot of people become promotional customers for Verizon Wireless.

As you can see I am very excited and now it is actually time for bed (8:45 pm) so that I can be up again and learn more tomorrow at training.

The Cowardly Lion of my Mind

One of the many things that I struggle with is the realtionship with my family. To make a very long story short, they just don't seem to trust me and though I am not the most perfect person they still don't give me the trust I think I deserve. Also for some reason I don't have the best relationship with my father. To be totally honest, it is like he is afraid to have a relationship with me; and although he is the owner of the company that I work for, the things that we talk about at work do not count as a personal conversation. Yes, I have made many attempts to try and make a connection with him, but it is like there is nothing there for him to be interested in. I try to talk about business and ask him questions but then we just end up talking about work and how I can be better or how I need to learn more and improve myself. All I really want is for him to ask me how I am and be interested in what I do. Even if he isn't interested, the effort makes all the difference in the world. Sometimes I think he is affraid that I will dislike him for being honest about not liking what I am interested in. When in reality I would rather have him tell me that he doesn't like or is ignorant about any of the things that I do then let me go on thinking that he just isn't interested in me. I try so hard to go out there and do what I can but the cowardly lion of my mind just gets eaten by the fear of rejection and it runs and hides for while until it can poke its head out again.

It's a jungle in here!

To most, the mind is a safe haven of peace and tranquility where one can find solace and inner meaning about life. Well, NOT FOR ME! Its seems that my mind is a ravenous jungle in which there are many dangerous creatures all competing for space on the stage of my mind. They don't politely take there turn or wait in an orderly line. No! It is everyone for himself and there is a constant strain to be the "king of the hill" as it were.

From Family Life, Finances, and personal relationships, to anything that I have ever wanted to do with my life; they all seem to want my full attention. Even sometimes in my sleep they are still on stage dancing around yelling there ideas and there demands into my head; and every once in a while I can satisfy one or two of them and things seem to calm down. But inevitably, they always come back for more and want there new demands met.

So over the next few blog entries I am going to write more about these dangerous and sometimes bossy creatures in my mind. I will also talk about the ones that  I want to give more attention to but seem to be easily knocked around by the more vicious of the animals in my mind.

Cut me a break

I have been having a really hard week and it seems like it has beeen just one thing after another. And to top it all off last night I couldn't find my homework at home anywhere so I thought I might have left it on my desk at work. So I decided to go to the office and check. Well we got there, no homework, just a dead-end and a wwaist of time so then we are driving back to our home and as we are approaching an intersection Emily's car just dies. No sputtering no growns or moans, just stops dead and we coast to a stop at the light. I try to restart the engine but it just won't stay started. (and no, it was not out of gas.)

Luckily for me Emily had her phone so we called AAA and got a tow truck to come and pick up the car, and my Dad came and took us home. So now we are without a car because my car is still not totally fixed or registered and her's is in the shop. And to top it all off I have no idea how we are suppose to pay for the repairs that will have to be made on the car.

Talking about the Weather.

Each Monday and Wednesday as I sit on the bus for 45 mins I almost always end up sitting next to someone I do not know. At first I feel like the little kid going to elementary school on his first day trying to be brave but fearing that the person sitting next to me won't like me or (worst case senario) will be mean and rude. But this is public transportation and even though it may be scary it is sometimes actually very enjoyable because you get to talk to someone who may not have the same view as you on a subject and so you end up talking about it for the entire bus ride. In some cases I have found that I merely just exchange the "hi" and "How are ya?" followed by "Good/Fine". Surprisingly though the subject of the weather has yet to come up in a bus conversation. The reason why I find it surprising is that the only thing that two bus riders have in common is the fact that they have both been standing in the weather for several minutes.

Well, since I have been writing this on the bus I have run out of time so I must say "So how about that weather?"